26 6 / 2012
“I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?”
― Nicholas Sparks, The Last Song
Love and trust are most important in any relationship which makes it last forever but if love or trust breaks, relationship also breaks. It’s a mutual and a joint effort and both partners need to work on it to make it work but often a mistake of one of the partners can affect relationship, resulting break ups. Women intuitively know how to build and nurture relationships. They are sensitive to other people’s needs, know how to comfort someone in pain and takes interest in the stories and tragedies of life. When it comes to relationships with the other sex however, their common sense often fails them.Here we will talk about the 10 top mistakes women make in a relationship with a man.
1.He is the one ‘potential’ lover:
Women don’t base their choices of men on how “nice” or “good” someone is to them day-to-day. Women choose the men they do because they feel a powerful Gut Level Attraction for them. Some women will continue to put up with a guy that doesn’t treat them very well. Sometimes for months or years… The only thing they saw in them that led them to want to keep them around is the “potential” they saw in them to share their feelings and communicate with them. The potential for something better and the potential for them to change and be a better lover, boyfriend, companion or whatever…The truth is, men tend to be hopelessly bad at these things at the time. But deep down these women believed that if they tried hard enough, that it would make up for what would be lacking. It doesn’t make a lot of “logical” sense and it is like a losing battle.
2.Be Attentive to Her Own Needs:
It’s tempting: to be there just for him, to neglect her career, her friendships and her own needs. It’s all fine if this is what really fulfills her and makes her happy. Otherwise she may end up depriving herself from her own needs and end up angry, moody, and in the worst case scenario, lose her self-worth and confidence. She needs to be very attentive to that she needs to be happy and keep pursuing what lights her up.
3.Men Are Not Like Women:
“Women look at men and see a hairy, misbehaving woman,” says Alison Armstrong, author of Making Sense of Men: A Woman’s Guide to a Lifetime of Love, Care and Attention from All Men (Pax Programs). “Her response is to train him, punish him or keep a distance from him.”
A lot of relationship blunders are based on the common misconception that men and women are alike. In reality, men are not anything like women. Understanding this and applying it to their relationship will save her a lot of headaches (and heartaches). She should do her homework and get interested in how men really think. Knowing just how different they are is essential in having a great relationship.
4.Trying To Change A Man:
A woman enters into a relationship thinking the man will change and a man thinking the woman won’t change. They’re both wrong. If the man is a real man who’s comfortable with who he is, flaws or not, he’ll probably want to end it eventually, once he’s figured out it’s not going to stop and he’s had enough. If he’s the kind of guy who will change just because his woman wants him to, the irony is she’s more likely to leave him! A woman wants a man who will stand up for himself, even as she tries to get him to lay down and roll over for her. Either way, it’s a lose-lose proposition. If she catches herself nagging him, she should stop and ask herself: does she want him around or not? Conclusion: Women can’t change men, and once she accepts their fundamental nature, their relationships can improve.
5.Men Are Not Sensitive:
Much frustration in relationships is caused by women’s expectations of men to be more understanding, caring and nurturing. While women naturally know how to do this, men don’t. They don’t pick up on the right clues to intuitively know what it is she needs and may not comfort her when she feels down, make her hot tea when she is sick, or talk to her when she is stressed out. Instead of being disappointed by this lack of sensitivity, it is better to start telling her man what she needs and how he can help her. Chances are, he will be happy to oblige.
6.Looks are Always Important and Comparing Own Looks with Others:
The biggest mistake women make is that they think that if they don’t look after their looks their men will leave them. But the truth is that if their man loves her, he would love her the way they are. It’s not that looks are not important because they are. But they should stop comparing themselves with others. And if their man gives more importance to their looks than her personality, he doesn’t love her.
7.Confusing Sex With Love:
When looking for a long term relationship women sometimes confuse a man’s sexual interest with their own romantic need. If a man is attracted sexually, that’s all there is. He probably does not want to know her better, call her the next day, or start a relationship with her. While there is nothing wrong with a short term fling but she needs to be very clear that’s what she wants, too.
8.Misreading The Important “Signals” That Men Send:
Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves. Most women don’t pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.
The signals men send have 4 main levels:
1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life - stability, confidence, direction
2) Emotional: Whether or not he’s “emotionally available”
3) Physical: If he’s attracted to you… and for what reasons
4) Love State: If he’s open to building and growing a relationship in the future
Women need to sort them out and understand these signals well to take a further step.
9.Relying On Your Natural Ability To Judge A Man’s Character:
People aren’t easy to figure out. Especially men. Both men and women have their own secret ways of saying things. But you can only see these secret communications if you know what to look for. Women communicate with hints, body language, sarcasm, and flirting when they’re first getting to know a man. They can either directly or indirectly let men know if they’re open to something more serious.
10.Expecting A Relationship To Make You Happy:
A mistake often women make is thinking a guy will change their life and make them happy and fulfilled. And sure, there are situations and relationships where this happens. But those are the exceptions, not the rule. Nothing says “Run!” to a man faster than hearing or sensing that a woman immediately wants him to take care of her.
And the men who ARE looking for this kind of situation aren’t exactly the most healthy, loving, nurturing people out there. Think, “controlling, macho, or serious Mom Issues!”